Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
