Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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