Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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