As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
