i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
