Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
