she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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