Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
