Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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