hotel room ftw
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
