I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
