i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
