When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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