Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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