He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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