I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
two words: eviction party
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's blow job season.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
