my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
4 words: hood of his car
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have surprise drugs for everyone
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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