found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
