Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
