She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
