He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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