are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
