I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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