im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
