i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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