So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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