Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
