At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
And then he peed in my hair
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