You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
