Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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