Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
