Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This baby is an asshole
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
