Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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