pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
