i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
