I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
