WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
