I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
