well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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