question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
