she was so not down for the gang bang
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize