Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He shit in the fireplace
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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