I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
