kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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