Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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