my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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