Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
