This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
