I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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