is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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