I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
