There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
