the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
