No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
