I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
