There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
