you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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