Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
