So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Congratulations! We have a period
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