I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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