You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
