why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
