TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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